ISSUE #1 - #15


No.

Issue #1

Date:

2/12/99

Top headline:

Brazil stops issuing permits for clearing Amazon River basin land, BUT APPROVES CLEARING ALL LAND AROUND IT

Issue #2 2/14/99 Serbs back off demands OF FREE PIZZA, but still oppose NATO troops in Kosovo
Issue #3 2/23/99 Michigan man freed after serving 2 1/2 months on 1974 conviction FOR STEALING REDD FOXX'S AMC MATADOR
Issue #4 3/01/99 Albright reportedly asks Dole, Soros for help with Kosovo DANCE STEPS TO BE USED AT NEXT WEEK'S SUMMIT MEETING MIXER
Issue #5 3/20/99 QUESTIONABLY IMPARTIAL War crimes tribunal finds violations by Croat army LIMITED TO “CREATING PUBLIC DISTURBANCE” AND “ILLEGAL DISCHARGE OF FIREARM IN RESIDENTIAL AREA”, newspaper reports
Issue #6 3/24/99 Paraguay's vice president ACCIDENTALLY assassinated BY AILING, NEARLY BLIND ADOLF HITLER, WHO WAS GROPING FOR DOOR HANDLE WHEN ANTIQUE RIFLE FIRED
Issue #7 3/26/99 Competing princes changing the face of KING FAHD IN PUBLIC BANNERS THROUGHOUT Riyadh, ADDING TERMINATOR SUNGLASSES, WARTS AND THE OCCASIONAL MOHAWK HAIRDO 
Issue #8 3/29/99 Man says British Telecom “WIN A LATIN LOVER” promotional campaign wrecked his marriage
Issue #9 4/02/99 Everything in place for Lockerbie trial, except suspects, KHADAFI SAYS “I GOT YOUR SUSPECTS RIGHT HERE”
Issue #10 4/09/99 Reformed yakuza now serve a higher boss – THE SPIRIT OF ELVIS
Issue #11 4/13/99 Schroeder lauded for firm, TIGHT BUTTOCKS WHICH “THE Kosovo LADIES CAN’T stand SHARING WITH ANYONE ELSE”
Issue #12 4/20/99 Police look for clues, motive in bombing at London market, PURSUING “ANGRY BRITISH CITIZEN” ANGLE THAT'S WORKED SO WELL FOR THEM IN THE PAST
Issue #13 4/28/99 Floridians warned to steer clear of alligators, IN ANOTHER INSTANCE OF EXPERTS TELLING PEOPLE WHAT THEY COULD HAVE FIGURED OUT ON THEIR OWN
Issue #14 5/10/99 Indian protesters form 480-mile human chain IN ORDER TO CONVINCE DAVID COPPERFIELD THAT HE AND HIS EXTRAORDINARY SKILLS OF ILLUSION ARE NOT WELCOME
Issue #15 5/18/99 KING Abdullah opens weeklong ALL-STAR DIPLOMAT GYMNASTIC meet, with SECRETARY OF STATE Albright TO COMPETE IN THE UNEVEN PARALLEL BARS

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